Should vs. Must

Distinction Series – Should vs. Must

Distinctions are great logical in-your-face simple understandings that can shift your mind and therefore change who you are.  They are simple powerful tools.  For the next several weeks, I am going to examine some of my favorite distinctions. Beware!!!  Once you understand a distinction, you may never be the same again!!


SHOULD is a depressing word.  Guilt hangs out with SHOULD.  Wish is a kissing cousin to SHOULD.  You really “SHOULD” exercise.  I really “SHOULD” start to read.  We “SHOULD” see mom more often.  SHOULD is an expression of another menace called procrastination – things that I “SHOULD” be doing that I am putting off.  SHOULD implies irresponsibility and that there is a good likelihood that what “SHOULD” happen probably won’t.  For sure it isn’t happening.  It is a failure word.  What “SHOULD” take place usually doesn’t take place, but it leaves heaviness and victims around it.

SHOULD is a denial of reality as well.  When I think that such and such SHOULD be a certain way, it means that it is NOT that way. I am stating that something SHOULD be what it apparently is not.  Until you wake up, face and accept things as they are, you remain dis-empowered to change them.  In reality there is no “SHOULD” outside of judgment, there either IS or IS NOT.  If you hear the word SHOULD, there is likely a victim somewhere close by.  Yuck!!!

Now consider the word MUST.  MUST is a word of commitment and declaration.  MUST kills procrastination and inactivity.  I MUST get in better shape, or you MUST clean up your room.  MUST is a word that creates action.  MUST says that I can no longer tolerate the current status and will begin to change it now.  MUST is an ownership word that declares responsibility and takes action.

So here’s a homework assignment that you MUST do!  Identify your biggest SHOULD – and convert it into a MUST.  The guilt will dissipate, and you will transform from a depressed victim into an upbeat warrior.  Enjoy TAKING ACTION!!

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